A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
