Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
