She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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