It was confusing and full of hummus
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
