fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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