do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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