I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she told me i tasted like america
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
