I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
