I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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