Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
