There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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