No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
