Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this just has baby written all over it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
