I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
