Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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