i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
