I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
