tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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