In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize