ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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