Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
