Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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