btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
