wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
