Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
