I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize