i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
