idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
