If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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