pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
