I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
