They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
