your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
