Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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