maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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