I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
