Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
