She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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