This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i think i have herpe
just one?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Watching her eat just hurts me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
