If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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