nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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