I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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