yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Sorry my hands just texted you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
