I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
