no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
