Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
