her vagine was all disorganized.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Everclear isn't food dammit
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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