My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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