She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
