I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
home. puking in laundry basket.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
