Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
