Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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