I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize