The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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