This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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