Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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