and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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