We're facebook friends in real life
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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