Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
