I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
