I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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