Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
