how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
