fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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