Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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