There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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