Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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